Rules of Office Romance: Keeping it 100% Professional

Have you ever felt a love thing for your colleague but didn't know what to do or how to act? Well this post is for you.

Love happens, even within the four walls of an organization. Many relationships and marriages started out in the office, so hey! you're not alone. However, if you are going to consummate a relationship with a coworker, there are some rules you would have to play by so you don't hurt your career.


RULE 1
Affairs  Relationship: Call it an affair, fling, situationship or the likes but by all means do not have an affair with your colleague. Affairs are messy, ingenuine and they also raise questions about your integrity. If you're going to have anything other than a professional relationship with your colleague, please make sure it is a genuine and exclusive relationship between two consenting adults.

RULE 2
What does your organization's policy say about relationships between colleagues? Be sure to make your findings about this as some organizations frown on relationships within the organization. Some however require one partner moves to another unit or location. After making your findings, have a chat with your SO so you both understand consequences and actions to be taken upon agreeing to start a relationship

RULE 3
Get the Word Out: I'm sure you do not want another female colleague making passes at your man reason being that no one knows you both are an item. This is not to say you should go around telling everybody but tell a few key people (most importantly, your boss) and the news will spread itself. Also, when asked about your relationship, do not deny or brush it off.

RULE 4
No Office PDAs (Public Display of Affection): So now everyone knows you both are an item, that doesn't give you the license to go beyond the professional boundaries within the confines of the office. You should not be seen being less than professional with each other.

RULE 5
Don't mix work and emotions: Difficult as it may seem, you cannot afford to let your emotions interfere with your work. If you both have a misunderstanding, you can settle it outside of work but by all means do not let it come to bear on your work. If you both are supposed to work on a project together, do not stall the project because of personal issues. Carry on with each other professionally as expected.

RULE 6
Don't use your relationship as an excuse to avoid work: Don't spend too much time in the lunch room with your SO or in the office corridors talking and having a good time while work waits to be done. Remember you have him to yourself after work hours.

BONUS RULE
While we all go into relationships with hopes that they will last forever, breakups do happen. Few things are as painful as having to work with someone you just broke up with. However, this is what you invariably signed up for when you both agreed to start a relationship. Do not let the breakup spiral into a bitter work environment in which people are forced to take sides. Be a good sport about it and go about your work like nothing happened.

Cheers to a Fabulous Friday!

- Love Truly, Molz

Please Comment and Share
Email us: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com
Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman

The Office Girl Code

Who says you have to be friends with your female colleague? No one! However, there are some unspoken girl codes you should observe in the workplace.

Code 1: Bring a wardrobe malfunction to her notice...politely and discreetly! If you observe a female colleague's button is loose, bring it to her attention and not to the attention of the whole office. If it's something you can help with, offer assistance. Who knows, it might be your turn tomorrow.

Code 2: Avoid office rivalry/competition. Do not forge alliances with other female colleagues in order to get at one female colleague. What this means is that the fact that you can't be her friend doesn't mean others can't be friends with her. Do not let your other female colleagues feel like they have to pick sides.

Code 3: Don't put down or belittle your female colleague's effort especially to your boss. Letting her have her shine doesn't dim yours.

Code 4: Share your beauty regimen and fashion tips if asked. If your female colleague asks you about where you got that dress or what hair you got on, please  share. Why do we always like to be vague about those kind of questions anyway?

Code 5: Only get as involved in her personal life as she allows you to. Don't be so eager to know everything about her life outside of work and don't force hangouts if she is reluctant. Give her space and give her time.

The codes are endless and maybe we will look at some more office girl codes in another post.

You can share some more girl codes in the comment section. Have a Fabulous Friday!

- Love Truly, Molz

Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email: www.diaryofacareerwoman.blogspot.com

May Day: The Eight Hour Movement

International Workers' Day

 While May 1st is celebrated in some cultures to signify the arrival of Spring, in many countries all around the world, May 1st is declared as a public holiday known as "International Workers' Day" or "Labour Day".

Let's share a brief history behind the International Workers' Day celebration.

In 1884, the Federation of Organized Trade and Labour Unions declared that beginning May 1st 1886, an Eight hour day should become a standard, legalized  labour day in the United States.

On May 1st 1886, history has it that thousands of workers went on a peaceful demonstration for the implementation of the eight hour day as many were still working as long as sixteen hours and for some, even twenty hours.

What was supposed to be a peaceful demonstration turned out to be a chaos as the police opened fire at the protestants following claims that they hurled a bomb at the police.

This led to further riot (the Haymarket Affair) which left seven policemen and one civilian dead and several injured.

It will interest you to know that even though it all started in the United States,   Labor Day in America is celebrated on the first Monday in September (this is history for another day). However, many countries have adopted May 1st as International Workers' Day.

The Eight Day Movement proposes that of the 24 hours a day that every worker has, 8 hours should be allocated to work, 8 hours to recreation and 8 hours to rest.

What do you think about this eight hour movement? Would organizations get more out of employees if this is implemented?

Happy International Workers' Day !!!

- Love Truly, Molz

Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
EMAIL: www.diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Laid Back Friday: How to have fun while doing your work

For most of us, this is how we feel this day of the week. It's usually the day we start to unwind from the week's job and begin to look forward to a weekend of rest, fun or quality time withfamily and friends.

My question is this, what stops us from feeling this way everyday? I refuse to wait till friday before I get to have fun or feel rested, neither will I postpone indulging myself or stepping to a song I love. I want to feel attractive everyday and exclaim "yayyy!" at random.

How do I have fun at work, you may ask.
There are several ways to do this. You can develop a good and healthy rapport with your colleagues. People with whom you can banter and exchange a few jokes. This helps to make you feel more relaxed and into your work.
For instance, I like to give my colleagues funny but inoffensive nicknames so when I get to call them that, everyone has a good laugh.

Find ways to ensure you're getting enough rest even while doing your job. Working smart is key as opposed to working hard. A smart worker gets much done with little effort.

The most important person to you is you. You can indulge yourself while at work. What's that one thing that could brighten your day if you have it? Then gift it to yourself. Is it cake? Or Icecream? Or a cute love note? Do it yourself! If you don't love yourself, who will?

Who needs a beat to dance? I can dance all day to music playing in my head. You're not being silly, you're being happy !

Stay attractive by wearing warm and bright colours of clothing (now that's not to say wear a green suit), let down your hair, why not wear that red lipstick and let the little successes excite you. Be young, Be free!

Thank God it's FRIYAY!!!!

Love Truly, Molz

Follow us on Instagram @diaryofacareerwoman
Email us: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

On Becoming an Intentional Career Woman

So many times, it feels like we are drowning in a sea of "to-dos" and end up not crossing off half of what we have on our plates. It's either we just do not have enough time, or maybe we are financially constrained. 

Don't you just wish sometimes that the hours in the day could be extended or that someone would just send you an unexpected sum of money so you could settle that urgent need? I must confess that it feels this way many a times.

This past week I did a lot of inward thinking, soul searching and praying of course and all that keeps coming to me is "Be Intentional". 

How often do you actually take out time to plan your day/week? Or plan your finances and spendings? Have you thought out what meals you are going to make this week? What about your work clothes, have you picked them out? Oh what are your plans concerning that book you're yet to finish reading?

Whew! These are some of the things I still struggle with and I hope to overcome and get a mastery of!

The good news is that I have found an insight on things I can start doing to make everything come together beautifully. They are really very easy steps to follow, all you need is your determination to follow through.

1. Have a "code" word for each day.
My sister sent me a post on this about "naming your day". This is so powerful because it is what you name a thing that it becomes. So you want a productive day? Why not name it "Monday, 9th of April: My day of productivity". Simple isn't it?

2. Keep a journal:  You want to  be intentional? Go old school and start keeping a journal. Journals are really helpful because they help you keep track of yourself. They also help you track your thoughts, an average human being has about 50,000 - 70,000 thoughts per day! Imagine losing track of all those thoughts because you didn't pen them down. I am recommending a journal by Temitope Olagbegi, it's called "The Intentional Living Journal". You can contact her on Instagram @temitope_Olagbegi

3. Download and follow a time management application: Time management is very crucial. Why not plan out your week at least to the extent to which you have control over it? There are routine activities that we all do everyday and there are some we should be doing that we just do not seem to have the time for. Using a time management application helps you to streamline your activities and put a structure to your day. I am currently using an application called "TimeTune" and so far so good, I think I might stick with this one.

4. Download and Work with a Finance Management Application: You'd be surprised how much of your income is unaccounted for because of impulsive buyings or pseudo-emergencies. With a finance management system in place, you'd be able to track how much is coming in and how much is going out accurately and it also helps you plan and cut off on excesses. The application I use presently for this is the "Finance PM" application.

All in all, for everything you do, let there be a reason for it. That's being intentional. Don't let life happen to you, let life happen through you.

Have a splendid week!

- Love Truly, Molz

Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

First Day At Work - What to expect

If we were asked to talk about our first day at work, most of us would have something in common, it was AWKWARD!

First day at work starter pack:

- New Suit and shirt
- New handbag
- New hairdo
- New Shoes
- New jewellery
- New food flask/water bottle

All kitted up

My first day at work was awkward for me.
I got to the office way too early, I chose the wrong shoes as I had no idea my job would require moving around a lot. Also, meeting new people and trying to find a friendly face was not so easy for me.

Your first day at work, you get to meet three kinds of people:

1. The ones that size you up and decide they don't want to be cool with you (for reasons best known to them). Just don't ask this kind of person a question because their response is always laced with sarcasm.

2. There are the ones that are indifferent about your existence. They are usually just there to do their job, nothing more, nothing less. You'd see them most times with a bored expression.  Only ask these people questions when absolutely necessary and keep it about the job

3. Finally, there are the ones that are eager to make a new office buddy. These ones are friendly and chatty. They will answer your questions beyond what ypu ask them and they make you less nervous on your first day. Fortunately, I met two people in this category that made my first day less awkward.

My first day at work sure did feel like my first day at school!

What was your first day at work like? We'd love to hear from you!

Love Truly - Molz

Would you rather a male boss or female boss?

This question is probably one of the most asked questions in the workplace.

It is often said that women don't support women so most females would opt for a male boss, why is that?

Also, majority are of the belief that male bosses are more understanding and easier to please than their female counterpart which makes them easier to work with.

For me, I have worked with more female bosses  it worked out fine because they are people I can still reach out to outside the four walls of the office but I think I'm in the minority based on the numerous stories I have heard.

On the flip side, as a female boss, I think I have a healthy relationship with the women I work with (I hope I'm right!)

What experiences have you had with your female boss? Who would you rather work with?

What can women do or stop doing to be better bosses? What are the men doing that makes them better bosses?

Let's hear you guys!

Follow us on instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email us at diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Love Truly - Molz

CW Crush - Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala: A True Ambassador of Africa

Dear CW Reader,

Welcome to another exciting week!. I wish you a productive stress-free week.

Our Career Woman Crush this week is none other than Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala or Mummy NG as she is fondly called by many.

Mummy NG

You'd hardly ever see her in anything other than her native attire and definitely not without her signature head gear. I am not going to bore you with so many details about her many achievements and accomplishments, thank God we have Google and Wikipedia for that.

A two-time Minister of Finance in Nigeria and former Managing Director at World Bank, Mrs Okonjo-Iweala is definitely living a life of achievements.

 Here are some fun facts about Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala:

Married to her childhood sweetheart

Married to her childhood sweetheart, Dr. Ikemba Iweala who is a neurosurgeon, they are blessed with four children. Ngozi proves that it is indeed possible to be successful both on the family front and career front

Ngozi at 19 with her husband

A woman who is not afraid to challenge the status quo

While serving as the Managing Director at World Bank, she ran for World Bank Presidency, a position that has only been held by US candidates. Though she did not win, she definitely challenged the status quo.

Leaders Challenge the Status Quo!

Her Education was delayed due to the Civil War

The Civil War in the '70s caused  a delay in Ngozi's education, however, this did not slow her down. She went ahead to complete her education and had her first degree at Harvard University where she graduated Magna Cum Laude (With Great Honor).

How many of us get discouraged when for some reason or the other, we cannot immediately complete our education or finish that professional exam? Guess what? It's never too late to pick up where you left off. Your dream is valid!

She is a Princess

She is from a royal family in Delta State where her father was the Eze (King). If you know a thing about royalty, it means you really do not have to work or earn a living. Everything is done for you by servants, all you have to do is simply exist (remember "Coming To America"?). By now I'm sure you know she really could have chosen to live out her life as a princess but young Ngozi knew there was more to life than having everything done for you. 

Now, what's your excuse for not pursuing that dream?

With so many achievements and a penchant for challenging the status quo, do you think Ngozi Okojo-Iweala can be Nigeria's first female president?

What's your take on this guys?☺.

Follow us on Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Love Truly - Molz

Why we love Career women (And you should too!)

Hello CW readers,

You know most times when you say "Career Woman" most people automatically tend to bring up the not-so-pleasant aspects to it. We are not going into that today, instead I asked a few people what they appreciate the most about career women and here are some of their responses;

FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE:
In his words, "career women don't beg for money".  I actually had a good laugh with this because this person's response was more like an outburst. In his opinion and experience, a working woman (job or business) is less likely to ask for Airtime or cab fare.She can take care of herself and anything done for her is just an added advantage.

SPACE:
"I like that career women are not clingy and are most times too busy to be all up in your space". According to this person, there is something attractive about a woman pursuing her goals be it in an office environment or as a business person as opposed to seeking attention at all hours of the day.

LOL!

HIGH SELF ESTEEM:
"Most of the women I know who are about their careers most often do not need validation, they know what they want and how to get it. You're lucky if they ask for your help". This particular one really got me feeling fly

GREAT CONVERSATIONS:
"Career women are pretty smart and great conversationalists. I have a couple of them as friends and whenever we talk, we have meaningful conversations. With them, I do not feel like I have wasted my time". Hmm this one is deep!

To be honest, I never knew there were so many good sides to being a career woman, I hope this post makes you feel as good as it makes me feel.


Disclaimer: This post is not to shade or discriminate any woman as I believe we are all beautiful in our uniqueness. Being a career woman is not all about working in an office. If you have dreams and aspirations and you're working towards them, you are a career woman so own

Your comments mean a lot us!☺.
Follow on Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Love Truly - Molz

CW Crush for the week - Osaretin Afusat Demuren - A Woman of Many Firsts

Hello CW readers,

I'm particularly excited about this week, I'm sure there are lots of blessings in store for every one of us this week...receive it!

Monday is the first work day of the week,so I thought, "why not have a weekly motivation kick-starter for our readers?" Hence, Career Woman Crush was birthed!!! ***drumrolls***

Mrs. Osaretin Demuren

You know how you can be sitting and talking with greatness and you might not know?
That was my story the day I met this woman. I was opportune to be in her home for official purposes and while we were in her living room, as the wonderful host she is, she asked "so what can I give you people?", she brought out a Gtbank branded notepad and pen and out of curiosity, the person I went with asked her if she works with Gtbank.

She smiled and said "I am the Chairman of the board".  WHAT? Immediately, I rearranged my posture and my antenna went up.

One of the many qualities I picked up from the very short time I spent with her that day was her "realness". She is a very practical person and you could tell she is not given to sentiments. It is no surprise she has gotten to and exceeded the peak of her career.

Mrs. Osaretin Demuren did not just become the Chairman Board of Directors at Gtbank overnight, she started her career in the banking industry as a clerk in Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) working as a Research Assistant and rose through the ranks to become the first female director at CBN.in which capacity she retired December 29, 2009 after 33years in the industry.

Mrs. Osaretin holds a Masters Degree in Economics and Statistics at Moscow Institute of Economics and Statistics on a Federal Government scholarship,she has a Diploma in Russian Language and she is a graduate  of some of the top business schools in the world like Harvard Business School, Columbia Business School, Upenn Wharton Business school, amongst others. She is a fellow of the Nigerian Statistical Association, Chartered Institute of Personnel Management and Affiliated with the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria and Society for Human Resource Management of America.
She was appointed Chairman, Board of Directors at Gtbank in April 2015, six years after retirement from CBN,

She speaks Russian, French and Latin amongst native languages.

On family, Mrs. Osaretin Demuren is married (yes, you guessed right), to former Director-General of the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority, Dr. Harold Demuren (this man is humble to the core! let me not even go into that) and they are blessed with 6 (SIX!) children (did I hear somebody say career women can't have too many children?)

Yes, you guessed right again, she is mother to Capt. Tunde Demuren and Mother-In-Law to Toolz, one of Nigeria's leading On Air Personalities.

Mrs. Osaretin is definitely a woman of many firsts;

• First of four female clerks to be employed by CBN
• First Female Director at CBN
• First female Chairman, Board of Directors at Guaranty Trust Bank
• and of course, First Career Woman Crush on this blog!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Mrs. Osaretin Afusat Demuren

Credit: wikipedia.org, punchng.com, allafrica,com

Your comments mean a lot us!☺.
Follow on Instagram: @diaryofacareerwoman
Email: diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Love Truly - Molz

What is the big deal about wearing heels in the workplace?

Boy! My feet hurts!

A friend of mine complained about the fact that her boss has mandated every female in her workplace to wear heels in the office everyday!

According to her boss, wearing heels makes you appear more professional and also makes you feel more confident.

I do agree that heels have a way of making you look more professional and a "Comfortable" one can add to your self confidence but not every one feels very comfortable wearing heels. I think everyone should be allowed to wear what they feel comfortable in within the confines of professionalism.

What advice would you give to someone facing this challenge in the workplace?

Are there other dresscode and appearance issues we face as women in the workplace?

Happy International Women's Day to all the wonderful women across the world.  You're beautiful and you bring colour to the world.

Celebrate a woman today!

Love Truly - Molz

Work-Life Balance, the formula that works

Is Work-Life Balance a Myth?

When I first started out as a CW (Career Woman), I told myself "Molola, this job and this career is what you make of it not what it makes of you". I have seen and personally witnessed a lot of career women who are struggling to find the perfect balance between work and personal life and this has pushed me more to determine to be different.

Now, I'm not saying it's all rosy and I have the balance thing all figured out like ABC, not yet. But I have found out a little glitch in the equation of this balance.

What is Balance?
According to Oxford dictionaries, balance is a situation in which different elements are equal or in correct proportions.

Correct proportions! That's the key. Many times we think of work-life balance in terms of equality 50-50 and so everyone tries to run with this formula and finds out it just doesn't work.

Dear CW, your work and your personal life do not have the same weights. For some, what works is 70-30 for others it might be 60-40. Now the onus is on you to find out the perfect formula that works for you and run with it.

Also let me say this, it is not enough to find the formula that works and go to sleep, what you don't work out will not work out. Find the formula and work it out everyday. Some days you might think you finally figured it out only for you to struggle with it again a few days later.  It is a continuous process and it does get easier.

As a budding CW, I always had exhaustion written all over my face. When people saw me, they would always ask if I was okay and I would always blame it on the job, until I made a decision never to let the stress of the job appear on my face. Now when I go out for a meeting or some other engagement after work, instead of asking me "are you okay", I am being told "you look great".

Your personal life doesn't have to suffer because of work neither does work have to suffer because of your personal life. I hope this post will steer you into finding that perfect balance.

Remember, your career is what you make of it not what it makes of you, you're the pilot of this career plane so you own the controls.

Please share this post with every Career Woman you know. You can also contribute in the comment section.

Thank you for reading.

- Love Truly, Molz 

Blogger's Welcome Note

Hey there!

If you're reading this, congratulations!

You have stumbled on to a blog that you can either relate with or empathize with. What does she mean, you might ask.

Diary of A Career Woman as its name implies is about a working woman. A woman who resumes at the office arly and closes late. A woman who sometimes has to work on weekends. 

A woman in pursuit of her dreams and won't stop till she achieves it

This woman may be married or single, a mother or an expectant mother, a Christian or a Muslim, Old or young. What these women have in common is their CAREER.

These women may be under paid employment who are working, hoping and praying to climb the ladder in their various organizations and chosen fields or they may be Women in business making a way for themselves in their careers.

You might think this blog is not for you because you do not fall into this category, but I'm sure you know someone who is and it would help you understand them more and improve on your relationship with them.

This platform is going to be run by you and I. Let's share our stories and give advice to someone in need of one.

You can send your stories to diaryofacareerwoman@gmail.com

Tell someone to tell someone to tell someone that DIARY OF A CAREER WOMAN IS LIVE!!!

- Love Truly, Molz